However, evolving on a small island, the scope of choice was narrow and so was vision.
Adding to the pressure of wanting me to pursue their perception of what was best for me, my parents were super skilful at applying executive decisional power over small mundane, medium and big aspects of my life. I was never given a voice, not even a voting right over choice of clothing, which school I would attend, modules at school, making friends, sleepovers at friends, hanging out socially as everyone else would do – you name it…it just didn’t happen!
Opinions were frowned upon, silenced or at best shunned, something that I found particularly hard as I developed into a curious teenager. I felt like a person condemned to living in a muted mode, programmed to go through the motions in order to perform to get through certain milestones.
No need to say that the stifled scope for choice escalated to my adult life – university studies, career, and sketching the ideal partner for marriage.
My two escape routes became reading and sport (although, even that went to arbitration! …but that’s another story for another day).